CKLB Potluck

yellowknife

my first picture, right off the plane.

 northern sky

 my pretty new colourful town.

 house boats

 new friends

 the view from the CKLB control room

 long walk in the greens

 i want to live in a house like this!

 this is the view from across the lake... CKLB, two canoes and a plane!

 more CKLB

the circle of life.

I was cruising with the lady late one night when we spotted an injured bird in the middle of a residential road.  I went out to help the little tweet and as I looked into the distance, I spotted four sets of red eyes on me and their prey.  Hungry wild felines.  I tried to scoop the bird up into a blanket but it kept hopping away from me.  So I followed it up the street and just as I had my hands around his quivering torso, a black cat snuck up on us and devoured him whole; right out from my hands.  I instantly started crying.

weird

i'm off to the gym

Everything is changing and I’m standing in real-time watching the world around me explode in slow motion.  Anecdotal particles of my life are but debris and in four weeks I will be entering into unknown land.  New terrain.  A turf that isn’t mine and, as an arrogant Torontonian, I am finally humbled.   I’m not qualified for what I am about to do, but I was once told that if you keep doing what you’re doing, you will keep getting what you’re getting.  So I’m doing something new, something so incredibly new and foreign and unheard of, and with every bit of positive energy in me I am nothing short of elated.

I told you that I would run away to foreign lands.  I promised myself that I would make it all worthwhile.

I fear nothing and I welcome all set backs gracefully – I leave in month with the opportunity to show up as the best me ever.  

2007

Remember that time you ran away? You dissapeared to Nicole's house for a bit, then realized, may be, that that wasn't where you belonged. So you crept back into our house through the window, and peacefully went to sleep on the couch which soon became my haven – in the basement which soon became my dungeon. Happily dozing off to the sound of our mother crying to the police about your whereabouts. I hope that, one day, you come back to me like you did on that dark, lovely night.

trust

"Je n’aime pas quand les gens confondent « négativité » et méfiance car même si ces deux la peuvent se rejoindre si il y a trop de méfiance (par cause de peur, lacheté, peu de foi, de confiance en soi)  une confiance les yeux bandés pour moi est un synonyme de naïveté.Alors  faire confiance jusqu'à preuve de déception est ma question…Est-ce que faire une confiance aveugle est preuve de bonne volonté et ouverture sur autrui, ou naïveté banale ? Je me demande parfois si « être fleur bleue » comme on dit  facilite les relations humaines ou les rend fausses et plus platonique…

Les phrases les plus communes de mes parents pendant  mon adolescence ont été « ne me déçois pas !ou tu n’iras pas a tel endroit car tu vas me décevoir encore !»  Avec un regard qui dit  je ne te fais pas confiance, alors que leur  présence a été très faible dans ma vie. La peur de ne pas décevoir m’a souvent poussé a agir a l’opposé de ce qui était attendu de moi, peut être par rébellion, c’est comme si on me donnait une pile d’assiettes fragiles en me poussant et que je devais faire en sorte de n’en casser aucunes, alors que ces personnes ne sont pas acrobates eux-mêmes. Pour moi, croire en soi, en autrui et ne pas avoir peur de leurs erreurs est le premier pas de la confiance."

-P2 S.L.

stricken.

this song loops over and over forever and ever my love.





mmmmm

i'm just like you

I don’t want to change. I still think that my tortured soul is endearing and that my childhood traumas make for great idiosyncrasies.

The Lucky Ones

Last night I left work shortly after 7:30. I had a bad day and wanted a friend around for a quick drink. So I called a few buddies to see what’s what. They were all busy or tired, as most people are on a Tuesday night, but I would have settled for just about any friend at that moment. And before I could finish that thought, a familiar face came staggering towards me. He had his arms open for a hug and a big smile plastered on his face. I gave him a hug and chuckled. I had no idea who he was, but I smiled and thanked the universe.

He was high on something other than ganja. Something more potent, numbing and depressing. We sat and talked while I sipped a Caesar I had been thinking about for the past 3 hours. At 35 he stopped teaching to become a washed up actor. He now works in a kitchen on the Danforth and lives with his mom in Scarborough. It was nearly 8pm and he was still out from the night before. I stopped him from going over to last nights John to ask for money in exchange for a quickie. So he leaned over and asked me to buy him a drink and lend him a smoke and some bus fare.

That's it. Not that interesting, huh.

toilet etiquette

Today I walked into the single-person women’s bathroom to rinse out my mason jar immediately after another young lady had used it.  I learned a lot about said lady based on the pungent odor that instantly shooed me out of the stall. I know things about her that I don’t need to know. 

I actively endorse the use of air freshener, incense or even matches after each and every bowl movement.

don't look down

It affects every single realm of my life.  Every moment of my day.  What I wear, where I go, how I walk, how I perform… this feeling follows me everywhere.

death

Sue's sister just died on Glee.  I usually get this really awkward feeling whenever someone dramatically dies on TV.  I take that time as my cue to go pee or powder up.  All of that emotion makes me uncomfortable... an inability to connect with it all makes me queasy.

but lately, whenever i even think of death, i think of the loss i would feel if M.S. ever died - and I can literally feel my heart break, and my throat swell, and my eyes burn, and my entire body heat up.  I can see myself not wanting to continue on.

Anyways whatever.

Love is really intense.

Fun fact: did you know Icarus was actually trying to touch the sun's tits when his wings melted off? It's true. Don't bother looking it up, but that's exactly what happened. He was hoping to tear off a nipple to use as a flame-shield.


i love geekologie

http://blip.fm/Kninja

one day i will be independent and autonomous. one day i will have so much power. I will treat every soul, every human being, every creation equally... like they were each little pieces of myself.

and i will be a hippy that loves everyone.

until then, this is what i can offer you.


that is all. carry on my critters. carry on.

organized sound

Edgar Varèse: music can be thought of as organized sound.  And there is no known culture, now or ever before, that lacks it.

I listened to Jon Hendricks adaptation of Charlie Parker tunes, adding scat lyrics to them.  Then to this version of Tchaikovsky's Fifth Symphony with lyrics added.  (Youtube them).

I hum guitar riffs and often sing my bands songs using only simple syllables like da-na-na - sometimes tapping and beat boxing - without ever singing the lyrics.  But just because we don't sing lyrics doesn't mean it's not a song.

"Most of us share this intuition that "song" is a broad category that includes anything we might sing of any collection of sounds that resembles such a thing. [...] African drum music h as an important role in the daily lives of millions of people and might not strike some as being songs, but to ignore such purely rhythmic (and difficult to sing unless you're Mel Tormé or Ray Stevens) forms of expression would betray a bias toward melody" - Levitin 

But then the meaning of a purely melodic or rhythmic song would be debatable.  I'm listening to Bonjay's Gimmee Gimmee right now. It incorporates so much of what I'm talking about and questioning.  In the song, the basses primary function is maintain a steady beat.  Layered over top of it is series of clapping, nonsensical hip-hop-inspired-scat-styled, heavy breathing and sort of muted (purely rhythmical) guitar strokes.  The song is a compilation of sounds functioning primarily percussively... and it's beautiful.

I'm searching for a catchy chorus to insert into an already catchy song and it's making my head spin.  I'm trying to process all of the cultural arrogance and narrow-mindedness I've been taught (and grown to love).  So my musical muses for this week will be: Tool, Rodrigo y Gabriela and City & Colour.

Growing Old

I'm sitting on a train hung over, burned out and nauseous; listening to Tool and melting into the sunset.  If you feed the pollution and disintegrating ozone to the malnourished dog, the rest of the gourmet sky becomes beautiful and the suns rays can pierce through the earth - like my eggs ever-easy every morning.  And if I flush out the beer cans left behind by last night's froshers, Ottawa's canal can flood my eyes with tears of stevia.

tsunami jam 7 years ago!

Remember LiveJournal? I sure do! That site got me so many women... and got me in so much trouble.

I went through my old rants and found this... an impromptu jam session in 2004 to raise money for tsunami relief.

I'm on the bongo's and my friend is struggling to keep up on the djambé.

  Tsunami jam 2004 by pykmusic

things

Things that are disgusting:  massive death.  union busting.  total physical exhaustion.  sick beats:

catty baits

I met the real-life version of Kathy Bates yesterday. She was driving the TTC bus into York U. I thought she was going to run over pedestrians then run us off a cliff while screaming "STUPID YOUTH OF TODAY TAKE OFF YOUR HEADPHONES! STOP LISTENING TO NOISE! GET OFF THE ROAD DAMN YOU STUPID DRIVER BAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH"

But she didn't.

happy new years

Here's what I learned on this new years day:

• Australia: massive flooding with gigantic damage.
• Arkansas, Illinois and Missouri have all been hit with deadly tornado's. 
• The blizzards in the Northeast have left people stranded with major damage.
• The death toll in Africa rising exponentially 
• Ivory Coast is gathering to surround Ouattara's hotel for a rally. I'm sure the death toll will be tomorrow's news.  
• Pakistan: Missile attacks and bombers in Pakistan kill several more than last week's attack
• Argentina: 7.0 magnitude earthquake hit today.
• Haiti: Cholera death toll rises to more than 3,000.
• Russia: 1 person killed, 3 missing, 4 in hospital after an explosion and fire on Russian plane. 
• Egypt:  A bomb kills 21 and wounds 80 in New Years Mass outside of a Coptic Egyptian church.
• Italy: One person was killed, more than 70 injured after gunshots and fireworks rang in the new year.
• Iraq: opened the new year with bloodshed as two police officials were show dead.  
• Canada: 
• Calgary has it's first homicide of the year.
• shooting at Ontario place (non-fatal) 
• double stabbing on queen street (non-fatal) 

And that's the New Years news from 3am-8am.

May be the Mayan's are right?

BTW, New York prepared for a new years eve terrorist attack in Time Square.  They had undercover cops, radiation detectors and even snipers set up around the new years party - which attracted around 1M people. Thankfully the event ran smoothly.