Shaq's a 12-year-old-girl

In probably the greatest transition ever, Shaquille O’Neal goes from talking to Vanity Fair about his friendship with Justin Bieber to his secret career catching cyber-predators by pretending to be a 12-year-old girl. And, yes, I’m talking about the large black man up there:

As long as you stay on the right side, you’ll be fine. For the last seven years, I’ve been a detective for Internet crimes against children. So if you ever see me, you know we’ve got you. If we come to your house, it’s all over. You’re going to be arrested. You’ve been having Internet conversations with me, and we’ve got all the evidence we need to take you down.
What’s your arrest catchphrase?
My catchphrase? Like a motto?
What do you say when you’re roughing up a perp? “On the floor, dirtbag!” “Book ‘em, Danno!” That kind of thing.
Well, uh. (Long pause.) My job is to be a little girl.
Come again?
I play a little girl on the Internet. So whatever name I’m going by, that will probably be my catchphrase. If I’m Tanya, then it’ll be something like, “Tanya says hello.” And they’ll be like, “Tanya who?” And I’ll say, “You don’t know no Tanya, huh? I’m Tanya. Let’s go.” And that’s when the cuffs get slapped on you.
I’d be less concerned with the handcuffs than the fact that a seven foot bald man just introduced himself as Tanya.
(Laughs.) Yeah, they don’t like that very much.

I’m pretty sure the last thing I ever expected to find out was that Shaq secretly pretends to be a lit- wait, did he just say Tanya? *chucks laptop in the river*

Thanks to Darwin Police who’d like you to take a seat right over there, please.

Photos: Splash News
(Source)

I wish it was Justin

There's an intern that comes in before me. Beebz. An awkward-looking, overly confident 22-year-old who's made nothing but bad impressions since day one. I ran into him on his way out and he was bragging about how he comes in 3 days a week (as opposed to 2).
Yeah.
Dang.
He says the news room is quiet so he can sit back and watch Star Wars. So I asked him why he'd come all the way here so that he could watch TV when he can just do that at home. He said to me "you just don't get it do you? (*this is where i cringed*) You're out of sight, out of mind. The more I'm here, the more I'm noticed." I kinda just gave him that I-don't-know-what-to-say look, as I often do when I don't know what to say. He asked about my pink headband then walked away awkwardly.

Lohan Maddness

Mr. Papa Lohan is on Larry King Live tomorrow night...

Lindsay goes to jaaaaaaaail!

sex + violence

I’m watching Christina Aguilara’s I’m Not Myself video right now and, after all the hype of her recent public interest in sexuality, all I see is a cheap synthetic imitation of Madonna's Like A Virgin decade. The PR blast into her "naked sunday's" couldn't have come at a better time. I’ll be the first to applaud Christina’s talent, she’s a diva vocal genius; but I’m Not Myself is lazy copy-cat video pulled from the Like A Virgin how-to book. Check it out so you can see for yourself – her dance moves were taken straight from her videos, especially Human Nature.







What Madonna did was revolutionary: she publicized sex and sexuality; publicly, shamelessly. Madonna’s sex movement can not be redone. Mimicking Madonna’s 1984 image just makes you look like a modern day pop culture prostitute.

This video was released at the same time that MIA’s Born Free shocked the news networks. This video hardly even made it to YouTube before they were pulling her video. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a gruesome expression of violence, equity and political freedom. No more violent then watching a movie.



Is Christina’s reclamation of the female body and sexuality is considered freedom of speech? If so, wouldn’t Born Free also be?

Sex and Violence, is one more valuable?

van bon bon

I had a conversation with a rah-rah lesbian today who was promoting "take back the dyke". An event put on by a drag-queen feminist activist who is against a corporate pride and wishes to reclaim the dyke presence in the Pride Parade (as she puts it).



Two things:

1) What's so horrible about a corporate pride? In my opinion, corporations bring in hundreds of workers and volunteers who otherwise wouldn't be present. And their presence is more than welcomed because we're inclusive, right? Thus, helping us in our mission to create awareness and promote acceptance. It's not like our GLBTTQQI2 presence/power declines as theirs increases. Also, they contribute millions of dollars, helping in making us one of the worlds larges pride festivals in the world.

2) A drag-queen feminist trying to reclaime the "dyke" presence in Toronto Pride. Have we ever had a presence? Is a male feminist really the one speaking up for us? Or is this their need for acceptance in a female community?



Anyways, may be the girl I was talking to was talking out of her ass and just wanted to be an angry lesbian. Pride is about loving. So please, my friends, think positively this pride. The G20 is over along with the "QuAIA" fiasco.