i think i'm afraid of love...

"i think you're afraid of love, i think that's why you push us all away, cuz we're getting too close to your heart and we could break it" - rtizt canne

Love is a routine

I almost always perform without any shoes on. I find it to be authentic and it makes me feel at home with my instrument. Today I fell in love with my warm-up ritual, the same ritual I’ve had for years: my first step is to start off with an improvised jam session of off-notes and funk beats. When I tire myself out, I start tuning each drum. Eventually I kick off my shoes (or, if it’s summer time, put on my socks), take off my shirt, put on my headphones and melt into musical bliss.

Routines are comforting. I find that we all take comfort in life’s redundant rudiments. They keep us grounded. They keep us feeling important and productive. And we dismiss them in a protest to be ‘spontaneous’ and ‘unpredictable’ and ‘fun-loving’ without realizing that redundancy isn’t monotonous, it’s affirmative.

Love is a routine, and is almost always predictable. So predictable, in fact, because it’s self-induced. Our precedent experiences carve our understanding of love and relationships. They determine our trust, respect, loyalty and integrity. Our actions and our reactions pave our truths and our authenticity.

While working so hard to fight our self-inflicted trends, we succumb to our tendencies. Again and again and again.

Love is a routine.